by theappliedprocess

“I thrive best hermit style with a beard and a pipe and a parrot on each side but now I can’t do this without you.”

Recently, ‘Bogo’ asked me if I’d like to work Monday to Fridays instead of Tuesdays to Saturdays. I have been running the pro’s and con’s of her suggestion over and over in my head and I still can’t figure out what I want to do. It’d be a great way of having a more “normal” schedule and having more weekend time with ‘Nickle’, or other friends, yet at the same time I really like working Saturdays. I like seeing ‘The Lady of Derbishire’ and my other coworker. I like being there half the weekend. I like having Mondays off so I can do whatever errands need to be accomplished and actually have the day to myself since ‘Nickle’ is at work, and the rest of the city is functioning at full speed. Still undecided, I told her I’d give it a try starting the next year.

The third Saturday of November I went to work as usual. I didn’t really want to be there and although I could’ve taken the day off, I decided not to. I did, however, leave early so I could meet ‘Nickle’, ‘Fixie’, and ‘Martha’ at my place to begin what was about to be a crazy night, it was The Abbey’s 14 year anniversary, and also one of my babe’s friend’s birthdays.

I got home before 6 pm and cleaned up a bit as I waited for my friends to arrive. The first one to come was ‘Martha’, we walked ‘Toto’ around the block for a bit, and then ‘Nickle’ showed up. We headed to The Abbey to commence the long night of drinking. I wanted to eat but I waited since I was promised there’d be good food at the bar. As expected, we started imbibing steady and heavily. Food did come after about 3 shot and beer combos, and I quickly proceeded to neutralize the alcohol with some substantial nutrients. It definitely helped. The night was off to a great start.

We stayed at The Abbey for longer than expected. A lot more friends ended up showing up. ‘Viquers’ and ‘Fixie’ had said they’d only come out for a bit but, after the alcohol kicked in, ‘Fixie’ was ready to rage. He texted asking me to help him sneak away from ‘Viquers’ who was sort of on baby sitting duty. Me and ‘Nickle’ went to the bodega on the corner to buy “cigarettes” and then told him to come meet us at mine with the excuse that he was picking up keys to stay there later. I told him to get in a cab with ‘Nickle’ and wait for me in the corner as I went back to The Abbey to explain to ‘Viquers’ that, because of the medication he was taking, he was loopy and passed out almost instantly. She believed my lie.

At around 10:30 pm we finally made it on our way to Park Slope for the remainder of the night.

The second leg of the evening was just as fun and just as drunk. I’d be lying if I tried to retell everything that happened. I was pretty forgetful by that point, but I do remember dancing to some sort of Latino music with one of the guys who lived in the apartment who was dressed as a Mariachi. I was also told me and ‘Nickle’ were making out profusely after we pranced around with different wigs, and we ended up drinking just like the Friday night before Montauk.

Sunday morning I was reminded I apparently got really drunk, a bit emotional, and blacked out. No harm done tho.

After the recap, we walked ‘Toto’, picked up some coffee, and took a shower/fooled around as ‘Fixie’ slept in the living room. We then all went for brunch across the street at El Almacen, an Argentinian restaurant with amazing lobster tacos and a dulce de leche french toast that I’d be willing to get a couple of cavities for. We nursed our hang overs with some margaritas and fernet.

For the rest of the day, we all had bike rides to accomplish. ‘Fixie’s’ included a date, and we had a very long one all around Brooklyn.

The first stop of the trip was at ‘Nickle’s’. We shared a coffee and donuts in his deck, picked up some stuff needed for the day, and rode bikes back past my place and to bedstuy. The second stop involved picking up some of his stuff his friend had borrowed a while ago and had left at another friend’s apartment. We didn’t stay for long, we still had a full day so we asked our hosts to come join us for dinner but, since they weren’t in the mood for it, we went our separate ways.

We rode over to ‘Judy’s’ apartment a short 5-10 minutes away. She’d just moved to a place off the Nostrand A train and had invited us to check it out. The apartment, sitting on the top story of a brownstone, was one to envy. For a second, it made me think of my future and where I’d want to live with ‘Nickle’, what I’m willing to sacrifice, and when did my convictions begun to change so drastically. My stomach made a growling sound and pinched me back to reality. We were hungry and we left to get some food.

I was having a bit of anxiety, nothing different from the usual. I kept trying to control it as we walked for 15 minutes to an Indian restaurant further into Brooklyn. The food was appropriate. I hadn’t ventured to eat Indian in a while because I was still holding on to the one time I was in Birmingham at ‘Capital-G’s’ mom’s place eating the most delicious home made Indian dishes I’ve ever had. Regardless,  like much of the other things in my life, I decided to not be afraid and just give it a try.

After dinner, we walked ‘Judy’ back to her apartment and we got our bikes to continue on the last lap of the tour de Brooklyn. We biked south to south slope to ‘Ceviche Mama’s’ friend’s place to pick up a much craved transamerican soyrizo. I had been wanting to make my famous soyrizo scramble for breakfast for my baby but had not been lucky in finding the specific brand I was looking for. After a bit of research I realized they don’t even sell in New York State, so I placed an order on Facebook, and my dear friend responded to my plea.

I stuffed the two vegan sausages down my chest and we finished the cycle by cycling back to my apartment to feed ‘Toto’, and then to ‘Nickle’s’ apartment. We watched a few episodes of  Lisa Kudrow’s canceled faux docu-sitcom “The Comeback” (which if you haven’t watched yet, please do… it’s a must), fooled around for a bit, and went to sleep. It felt incredibly nice to sleep at his place.

Monday morning we did a bit more of fooling around. He always suggests I stay sleeping but, even though I do feel at home when I’m at his place, I don’t like being there without him. Not yet, at least. We biked back to my apartment and his subway stop.

As soon as I got home, I showered quickly, fed my dog again, and headed in to the city. My friend ‘Martha’ had gotten me and ‘Jose Maria’ tickets to MARTHA (the show). I was excited to see the queen of home media in the flesh so I dressed according to the strict dress code I was emailed (“Martha loves bright colors” it said), put on the happiest fake smile I could, and waited in line amidst a few hundred midwest moms, a couple of craft loving gays, and a very moody and hung over ‘Jose Maria’.

After a long two hour wait, we were seated a few feet from where she would be making cookies (it was the beginning of cookie week), and I was getting a bit nervous. A few minutes later, she walked on stage looking overpoweringly robotic. From then on, every thing seemed orchestrated with extraordinary precision. I could tell that this woman is where she is because of who she is, and she knows it. The guests and the audience all moved to her subtle commands disguised under her charming persona. It was hard to take my eyes away from her presence, and kind of impossible to believe that this tender woman in a meticulously picked out outfit, has been to jail and back. At the same time, I could totally picture her being the matriarch of her fellow female inmates. I loved every single second of the hour and a half we were there. We left the show with a cookie gun, and a clay stamp.

At around 4 pm, I dragged ‘Jose Maria’ with me to run a few errands, we had lunch at Dos Toros near Union Square, and then a couple of drinks at Park Bar. I was still feeling anxiety and the alcohol wasn’t helping. We left the bar when he needed to go meet another one of his friends, and I walked to the theatre by myself to see a movie as I waited for ‘Nickle’ to get off work.

The anxiety got pretty bad and I passed out in the theatres. I woke up 90 minutes later to the last 15 minutes of The Immortals which I didn’t bother to watch because I had missed the whole movie. I left and walked over to whole foods to get some stuff to make food with my babe.

I met him outside the grocery store and we took the train home together.

That night, he cooked us dinner, I had a bit of anxiety, we took a shower, fooled around for a bit, and passed out with each other’s lips interlocked. It was one of the sweetest things that I have ever felt. I woke up a few hours later to a hand full of dried cum. I had another anxiety attack and finally passed out for the rest of the night.

Tuesday morning did not start good. I had a weird dream about my dad being diagnosed with liver cancer that set my anxiety off very early. My babe calmed me down and I got a hold of myself. I had promised him to make us breakfast with the soyrizo we had picked up so I got off bed and made us my famous scramble. We enjoyed a breakfast together, he left for work and I passed out again. I had another bad dream about me talking to my dad and telling him about my anxiety. I woke up to a bad fit, and texted ‘Nickle’ for some help. Again, he calmed me down.

A few minutes later, I finally mustered up the energy to take a shower and went to work. The day was weird and I was not feeling good at all. I am not really sure what happened the rest of the day other than I think we were drunk and I was trying to tell ‘Nickle’ we should stay at his place so he could make a bag for our Thanksgiving trip, but he insisted he would make do with what he had at my place so we didn’t go to his. Other than that, nothing comes to mind. I am sure it’s more of the usual, but I do know that the anxiety has been bad to the point where I go through periods without remembering what’s happening. I’m scared.

“I never thought I would compromise. Let’s unite tonight. We shouldn’t fight. Embrace you tight. Let’s unite tonight.”