by theappliedprocess

“It sounds like we would of had a great deal to say to each other”


Last Saturday, ‘SF boy’ took the red eye to New York. We had originally made plans to hang out at least once but, knowing him, nothing was set in stone. I wasn’t holding my breath for this one, and besides… with all these other boys I’d been juggling, I was pretty winded. Regardless, being the cheery always down for whatever kind of guy that I am I had planned a nice evening for us on Monday: dinner, Broadway, drinks, and maybe a sleepover. In his typical manner, he was playing hard to get and making it significantly hard to have solid plans. Sunday I knew he’d be with his friend for a birthday. He actually texted me Sunday night but after a couple short back and forth one liners he stopped. What a surprise.

Monday morning I woke up fairly early because ‘Nickle’ was over and he needed to go to work. I planned on staying up but after having some hydrating coconut water and a slice of peanut butter toast, I went back to bed for a mini nap. I woke up at elevenish just in time to do a much needed session of yoga. The class was surprisingly easy this time.

I got out at about 2 and hurried home to frantically clean my place in case ‘SF boy’ came over or spent the night. A good thing about him is that after being to his’, I got inspired to grow up and keep a pristine apartment. I’ve been doing good so far. For the next following hours I scrubbed, swept, vacuumed, washed, swiped, polished, and cleaned every single nook and cranny of my untidy abode. In between all these things I kept smoking cigarettes and checking my phone for signs that ‘SF boy’ was still alive. They came few and far between but somehow I managed to decipher that I was supposed to meet him somewhere in SoHo at around 5:30 pm so we could grab something to eat and a drink before heading to see the musical.

I showered, got dressed, and headed to our rendez vous. He was waiting with his friend at a parking garage on Mulberry and Kenmare where there was some sort of police altercation outside. I greeted them both and hung around till his friend got her car. We then walked for a bit till we ended up at Delicatessen on the corner of Prince and Lafayette having some fish tacos and a michelada in my case, and a burger and some gay martini in his. We quickly and effortlessly caught up which boggles my mind because for some reason, when we’re hanging out it seems so fluid and natural, yet when we’re not together it’s so awkward and it’s like pulling teeth to try and have some sort of connection with this man. We ordered a second round of drinks and dilly dallied for a second till it was time to catch the N uptown to Times Square to watch Priscilla Queen of the Desert.

My handsome tourist was taking plenty of pictures of all the wasteful billboards on 42nd and Broadway, some of them including me, which I find a bit odd because he seems like one of those boys who doesn’t want others to know he’s hanging out with someone so he can keep his options open, much like DJ. We found the Palace Theatre and ordered another drink. This time: a pink margarita. We got escorted to our seats and waited till the musical started. I had an exceptional time. If you haven’t yet, go watch this one. It was camp, it was funny, it was light, it was well choreographed, it was perfect for the occasion.

After we left the theatre I texted ‘Fixie’, ‘The Queen of the Dammed’, and ‘Mexican Paddington’ to go to Cubby Hole for a few more rounds. We took the train to the Village and met up with the boys. On the way there I texted ‘Fixie’ warning him not to mention DJ or ‘Nickle’ because ‘SF boy’ didn’t know about them.

Right after we got there both ‘Fixie’ and ‘The Queen of the Dammed’ gave me their negative two cents on my date. I wanted to get some dirt on him and with the world being so small, it turned out ‘Mexican Paddington’ knew some of ‘SF boys’s’ friends from back home. I let them chat for a bit and went outside with ‘Fixie’ for a cigarette and more schooling. I like to hear his opinion because he’s usually pretty on point.

We went back inside and had a few more drinks. In their usual manner, ‘Mexican Paddington’ and ‘The Queen of the Dammed’ went home. We stayed with ‘Fixie’ to finish our drinks and then took the L to Brooklyn.

Before heading to bed we stopped by Metro for one last round. Again, the night was quite fun. We were a bit flirty but not too much, just like we usually are. I took him to the photo booth for my ritualistic documenting of the boys I go out with. We left Metro and I offered he spent the night. Not sure if he used this as an excuse or not but he said he couldn’t because he had his friend’s keys and needed to give them to her early in the AM. I chose to believe him. We hugged goodbye and before letting him walk away I called him back and gave him a kiss.

As I was walking home I texted ‘Nickle’ to see if he was still at The Abbey like he usually is. He didn’t reply but I decided to stop anyway. He wasn’t there but most of his friends were. They all greeted me with great excitement, as usual. I stayed for a bit having a few more drinks and talking to them about my future ex boyfriend. Some of them gave me the go, others jokingly told me to be nice or they’d break my bones. It was getting late and I was ready to go home. I paid my ridiculously cheap tab and stumbled home. Apparently, I called ‘Jose Maria’ and had an anxiety attack about the whole situation. I don’t quite remember that, but it sure sounds like me. The anxiety is getting worse and worse. I have no idea why but I’m getting scared. Thinking back, a similar situation happened when I was in San Francisco staying with ‘SF boy’. I’m confused and I don’t know how to go about it. I guess all I can do is just take it a day at a time. It’s scary and exhausting… life is not fun sometimes.

“I bet when I leave my body for the sky the wait will be worth it.”