Money changes everything.
Oh the twists and turns life takes. Just yesterday I was writing about gay relationships in New York and my current take on them and then the Big Apple gods decide to slap me in the face. I went on a date last night and it was great.
I met ‘Nickle’ at a bar a block away from my place a few Fridays ago. He was a very handsome thirty-something who I was trying to figure out his sexual preference. He started talking to me so I assumed he was gay. Five minutes later my assumptions were confirmed. We were both pretty inebriated so I’m not sure how long we talked but we ended up making out and exchanging numbers. The next day he texts me saying he wants to meet for drinks at some point. I replied saying that would be a grand idea. We made plans for later next week after both our guests, his father and my friend, went back home.
We didn’t really talk much after that. I texted him once asking if we were still on for Thursday. He said that because of his dad being in town he’d taken a lot of days off work and had to make up for them so he wouldn’t be able to. We rescheduled for Saturday. He suggested we meet at a bar in Greenpoint where his friend had just gotten a new bar tending gig which meant free shots or, at the very least, cheap drinks.
Yesterday I left work and, after enduring the crazy subway madness (the 6 train wasn’t running and the L was packed and delayed), I made it home. I walked my dog really fast, freshened up, picked up a slice of pie, and texted him I’d be ten minutes late. I arrived at the bar. He was looking very handsome wearing black adidas, jeans, a tan belt, and a dress shirt. A couple of ‘Nickle’s’ friends were coincidentally there.
The date started off nice. We ordered a beer and a shot of Maker’s. We breezed through the initial who’s, where’s, what’s, and when’s. We had a few more drinks, cigarettes, and some nachos. The man is a drinker. We had a nice chat in the backyard about what we’re looking for and my convictions started going to shit. He mentioned how he’s done the whole open relationship and everything under the sun and he was ready to settle down, whatever that means. I gave him a condensed version of my new mantra. He didn’t seem faced. We kissed. We discussed not sleeping together despite both really wanting to because we liked each other and we know how that goes.
We had another drink and a shot. He kept insisting we drink more and then see where the night goes which I took as code for “I’m trying to get you and myself drunk to the point where we don’t care if we fuck”. I went with it.
We eventually left and headed to the bar where we first met. We ordered water and made out a bunch more times. One thing led to another and we ended up at my apartment. Naturally, we kissed more and the clothes started coming off. He gave me a blow job on the couch as I smoked a cigarette which was both very sexy and something I really enjoy. Despite not being my usual m.o., I returned the favor minus the smoke. To say I was very attracted to ‘Nickle’ is an understatement. We went to bed and fooled around a bit more. He has a nice dick. He passed out on my chest. So much for not sleeping together.
This morning we woke up a few times, fooled around,and cuddled a bit more. Nobody really came. We got up at around 10 and decided to go to brunch together. After walking by a few different places that were either closed or had a long wait time, we ended up at Lokal. As expected, we ordered bloody marys. I insist, this man is a drinker. It’s not something I mind much, I am a drinker too, but I do remember thinking the night before that he was a bit too sloshed for my taste. We had a nice meal and an even better conversation. There was no awkwardness at all and, despite risking not seeing him again by having him sleep over, I think we both handled the situation with grace. I’m beginning to think it’s all in the semen, as long as neither party cums, there’s not really any weird ambiance the next morning.
He suggested I read a book he just finished reading. I suggested he read a book I read a few months ago. We paid our bill and walked back towards my place. He was going to meet some friends by the river, I was going to shower and go to work. We kissed goodbye and made plans to “exchange books” later in the week.
I left giggly. I like this one. He seems like a lush gentleman. As I was showering and on the cab ride to work I thought about what this all meant. I was so set on my new philosphy about men and by no means am I throwing it out the window but ‘Nickle’ really made me think. I like that. I know it sounds stupid, especially since it’s only been one date. If there’s one thing I love about myself is my versatility. I’m a Pisces and I’m pretty easy going and adaptable. I go with the flow, but I can also swim against current. In this case, I’m going to take it a boy at a time. I’m not jumping on any trains, DJ and ‘Fixie’ are still in the picture, so is SF boy who, after ages, I just talked to today and made plans for when he comes to town next month. ‘Nickle’ is just another fisherman looking to lure this goby who, depending on its environment, will gladly adapt if needed as long as I’m comfortable. Yesterday I was talking about assimilation vs. integration, and doing things because you want to, not because you’re expected. It might sound conflicting that I’m talking about adaptation now, however, that just so happens to be my nature. Ever changing, ever welcoming, ever understanding. I’m not going against who I am, I’m just realizing I shouldn’t lock myself on a strict ideology.