the.applied.process.

wit. honesty. everyday ramblings.

Tag: ‘American Gothic’

Blind Date #2: Little Tokyo.

It took a ridiculously long time for my next blind date to happen, but on the evening of June 21st, 2011 it finally did! I’m starting to see a correlation here, since this one was set up by a friend of an artist we represent at work, and the previous one was set by the brother of an artist we represent as well. My friends, on the other hand, have proved to be as helpful as a guide dog who’s blind and missing a leg.

I was in Stockholm staying with said artist, and we had just shaved my head and beard. I shaved because I did not want to deal with customs at the US airport stereotyping me for my facial hair. It’s dumb but if I had a krona for every time it’s happened, I’d be a Swedish millionaire. The artist and his friend kept fucking with me about the date. Like I stated, I want to know as little as possible about my suitors. All I knew was his name. Let’s call him… ‘Little Tokyo’. They kept telling me to be careful, not to stare too much when I first see him, and if I was comfortable enough to push him around in his wheel chair. I soon discovered these were all lies.

I walked to the train station we decided we’d meet at. He was running late. I waited. Then I got a text saying he was around the corner. I nervously looked left and right. All of a sudden, a tiny Asian (later I found out Japanese) man with a denim ensemble and a very sad excuse for a ‘stache waved at me. I was relieved. We said hi and walked to a bar close by. It was an upstairs terrace, and when we were going up the stairs, ‘Little Tokyo’ said hi to two Swedish girls. We grabbed a beer, which he paid for, and upon realizing there were no available seats, we ended up sitting with his friends, who I found out worked with him.

It was a bit awkward at first. I had no clue about anything about this man, and his friends being there didn’t really promote a very ‘getting to know you’ environment. However, being the social papillon I am, I quickly had the girls asking one question after the next about my life, which I used to reciprocate and try subtly to find things about this man’s life. I found out he worked in fashion as a men’s wear designer for a not too interesting Swedish brand that’s easily available in America. He was twenty-eight. He had lived in Australia where he met Sweds who enticed him to move to Stockholm. He was soon quitting his job. Overall, he was a nice guy. I am probably more attracted to kitchen knives than I was to him, but as a blind date, he was adequate.

We left the terrace after one drink because they wouldn’t serve us more. We walked downstairs to the bathroom where we said goodbye to his coworkers, and crossed the street to another bar. It was a small, kitchy dive with interesting people that could fit in any given international city I’ve been to. He knew people there as well. We sat with them, but this time we actually talked to each other. We talked about Japan, and I managed to pull out all my Japanese katanas to show off my slight, yet unusual, knowledge of Japanese culture.

As planned, I’d been texting with ‘Titi’ to cue her to come save me if need be. I obviously didn’t feel threatened, but I wouldn’t mind them around, after all, it wasn’t an intimate affair, nor did I want it to turn into one. We finished out drink and went outside to smoke. They met us there and we all walked to another bar. The bar was closed so we went to another one around the corner. I drank at twice the speed they did. The date never really fulfilled itself as a date in an sense. We left after about an hour. I said bye, he asked if I had to go sleep at ‘Mr. A.G.’s’, I said yes. Not sure if this was him asking me to come over, but not in a million years would that happen. Never say never, I know, but this time I’m pretty confident saying so.

Me and the Swedes walked to the train station.’Titi’ took the train home, we walked. We had another drink, and I finished the bottle of champagne I had purchased earlier. We talked a bit about work, I set up my alarm, we went to bed. As expected, I didn’t wake up on time. ‘Mr. A.G.’ woke me up when the cab was outside. Fortunately I was already packed. I thanked him for everything and made it to the airport fine. Off to London. I was tired and ready for one last night in a city that feels like home, and with proper company. Me and ‘The Kid’ had plans.

Stockholm.

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock saying it was 8:31 a.m. I hit the snooze button and started to doze off when I realized I never changed the time on my clock from GMT to Parisian time. It was actually an hour later. Fuck my plans of carefully packing, taking a shower, and catching a train to Orly, I was an hour late. I briefly thought “fuck it! I can skip my next stop and just go straight to London in a couple days”. I always seem to have this thoughts a couple hours before I have to board a plane/train/bus. I called the concierge and asked for a cab ASAP. I started meticulously shoving everything in my bag, got dressed, and sipped some water, the out the door I went. I was sure I’d forgotten something, but as long as I had my wallet, my iPad, and my passport, everything else is easily replaceable or easily forgettable.

The cab had been waiting for 11€’s worth. Thirty-four more euros later I was at the airport. I checked in with enough time to do absolutely nothing but run to the gate. I boarded the plane and off we went. The flight had a lay over, I had to switch planes at Bergen (which I later discovered was in Norway). My connection was quite pleasant as the next vessel had free mile high wifi. I grindrd 3000 feet above ground, but of course there was no one. Norwegian Air had employed an all female flight attendant team.

I landed at Arlanda at about 15h and texted my friend ‘Thunder’. She was gonna be busy for another two hours so I said I’d waste time at the airport. I got some nasty pizza, wrote on the blog, facebook’d, and grindr’d, of course. At 5 pm I got on the express train to Stockholm city. As instructed, I then took the metro to my friend’s stop where she’d be waiting for my arrival. We walked a few blocks to her place and started our very lovely evening. We drank wine, smoked cigarettes and caught up. She made some lentils for dinner, we had some more wine, and smoked some more cigarettes. I told her about the blog. She suggested I read her an entry, and she’d play me a song. She is an unbelievably talented musician. I’m not being biased here, I’m just being honest. She also speaks 4+ languages (I forget the exact number), and she’s very bright, and well traveled. But enough about her good attributes here, she’s not perfect. For instance, she doesn’t own an iPod or any sort of mac product, and she’s not on Facebook. Ha.

The night was almost perfect. It was exactly what I needed (except for the iPod situation. I, of course, had forgotten to pack my charger and had left it in Paris and my worldwide web addiction was cursing my forgetful self for depriving me of a fully charged iPad). I don’t see her that often, we write emails every now and then, but due to her credo, I am not constantly updated of her life through Facebook, nor is she of mine. She didn’t know I had a massive beard. I didn’t know she was moving to the south of Sweden.

I like the connection we have. She understands to some degree my fucked up world view, and I understand hers. More wine. More cigarettes. Bed.

The next morning we had a quick breakfast, I finalized my plans with my other Svensk friends, updated my blog, and left her apartment. It was refreshingly nice to see her and even more refreshingly nice to spend some time in ‘medieval’ (as she put it) Sweden, with no sight of iPods, and no Facebook. It’s easy to forget how dependent and attached we are to these things.

I met up with ‘Titi’ at the train station. We walked over to ‘Mr. American Gothic’s’ “if I lived in Sweden I’d want to live in a place like this” penthouse apartment. It was really nice to see both of them again, especially since last time it was under work conditions, and this time it was just for fun. And fun it was. We chit chatted a bit and promptly left his apartment for some sushi in the park and drinks. Sadly, the weather, which I was loving, was not conventionally favourable for lunch at the park, so we went back to his’ and ate and drank there.

We decided we’d go shopping. They took me to a department store where I scored a pair of Thom Browne swim trunks. We made several pit stops along the day at different bars to refuel our buzz. It reminded me of our time in New York.

We walked back to his, and drank some more. They played card games, I fed my social networking addiction. It was time for bed and so me and ‘Titi’ left to her apartment, as it was decided by them I should do. Her apartment was not too far just across the ‘river’ (sea). They kept correcting me when I referred to the large bodies of water as rivers since, apparently, unlike most other European cities, Stockholm lacks rivers.

Unlike the previous night, this one was far from pleasant. It had nothing to do with my hosts. I barely slept two hours. I had a few crippling anxiety attacks. Nothing unusual, of course, but they’re never fun.

The next day I somehow managed to lift open my eyelids despite how tired I was. Me and ‘Titi’ had a typical Swedish breakfast, as I was quickly learning this was what Sweds usually have before noon. We made plans with ‘Mr. A.G.’ to maybe go to Fotografiska (the photo museum) to watch a Robert Mapplethorpe exhibit. We were late. We took a boat to the other side of this river/sea that divided their respective apartments. We briefly stopped at a couple local stores. We finally got to ‘Mr. A.G.’s’. More drinks. No museum. Instead, I’d decided I wanted to shave my beard and make a video out of it. We walked across the street to buy some clippers, and then a few blocks away to buy alcohol. Champagne bottle in one had, cigarettes in the other, and shirtless I was ready to be rid of my hair. ‘Mr. A.G.’ wore a leather blazes as he shaved my hair. I’ll eventually post the video online. I’m sure a few cliche gay men will wet themselves over it. I showered and nervously headed to a blind date ‘Titi’ had set up for me.

vraiment VERMONT!

Part of what I enjoy about my job is the random things I have to do sometimes. Case in point, my visit to Vermont. When my boss emailed asking who would want to do it, I was a bit hesitant. As I said, I had been ill for a week and really needed to rest and take care of myself, not to mention the fact that I was going to the LCD sound system show the night before and I was sure I wasn’t going to get much sleep before the 4 hour drive up the I-87 N… but then again, I enjoy getting shit done (and I was quite certain no one else would), and I figured that other than this, why else would I go to Vermont?! Surely not to take advantage of gay marriage.

So I woke my ass up, managed to put some pants on, leashed my dog, and stumbled my way to the local coffee/smoothie shop for a hang over friendly liquid concoction and a bagel. Then I met up with my road trip buddy (btw I’m avoiding names in all of my posts on purpose) who was waiting outside my building, and we cabbed it to the U-Haul place by the navy yard.

I have to admit, my stomach was killing me. I wanted to puke. The smoothie wanted to creep out of me any way possible (and it did at the U-Haul center bathroom… guilty). We hopped on the van and started our way. Me and my road trip buddy, who we shall call Titi, didn’t really know each other, but I’m quite confident in my easy goingness so after a few minutes we were chit chatting about this, and about that, freaking out about the road (we weren’t legally allowed to be on anything labeled “parkway”), singing along to bad music (mostly 90’s bad exercise tunes), and just having a jolly good time (like road trips should be!).

We made a couple of pit stops delighting ourselves in pure, uninhibited Americana. I ate some chain fast food fried grossness (not the best for my ailing intestines), drank about enough redbull to kill a small ferret, and chewed on enough pepto bismol tablets to permanently lacquer my duodenum in pink. The road was beautiful. Quite different from California (where I’ve partaken in plenty a road trips). Read the rest of this entry »